


just let me go

by OhHelloPotato



Series: Stray Kids One-shot, Dribble, and Drabble Collection [4]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Capslock, Crying, Depression, Drabble, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin Is A Sweetheart, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, I Love You, Kim Seungmin-centric, Lots of tears, M/M, No one else is mentioned, Oops, Please Don't Kill Me, Poor Seungmin, Sad, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, What Have I Done, Winter, Written in Class, Young Love, bridges, but a lot shorter, i was listening to p!atd 'dying in la', i'm sorry for hurting the baby, kind of, no editing, someone take seungmin away from me, sorry - Freeform, title from a song, trigger warning, two curse words, written in ten minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 17:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19010527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhHelloPotato/pseuds/OhHelloPotato
Summary: He'd rather them be back at home wrapped in blankets with steaming mugs of tea in their hands.Not on a bridge in the middle of the night.[title taken from 'let me out' by jonghyun of SHINee]





	just let me go

**Author's Note:**

> i, firstly, apologize for writing this. seungmin is amazing, and if anything like this ever happened to him, or anyone in stray kids, i'd be absolutely crushed. 
> 
> i am not romanticizing suicide in any way, shape, or form.  
> i am merely telling a story, and projecting my own thoughts into it.
> 
> anyway, how has your guys's week been? hope it's been good.  
> please stay safe, and always remember that you are loved! <3

"Please, Minnie." A desperate voice called out from behind him, almost lost in the roaring wind. "Look at me." He gripped the frigid rail tighter, fingers going white from the cold and the pressure. He did not turn around.

The young adult continued to stare down at the rippling river waves below him. "Dammit, Seungmin! Step away from there, and look at me," his voice sounded angrier now. Exasperated even.  
He shook his head.

"It's cold," he spoke. Loud enough for the man a few steps away to hear. "You should go back home, Jinnie."

"Are you being serious?" Hyunjin scoffed and moved forward another few inches.

"Yes, and if you get any closer, I'll jump." Seungmin winced as his voice cracked. The footsteps ceased immediately, and a frustrated growl erupted from the older.

"Seungmin, how am I supposed to help you?"

"You don't."

"I'm your boyfriend!" Hyunjin yelled, and from the wobble in his words, the brunette knew that he was crying. "I love you. _I love you_ , and i'm sorry I haven't been there for you. But please, _please_. Don't do anything irrational." Granted, the caramel-haired boy knew that if the younger tried to jump, he could be fast enough to grab onto him. But what if he wasn't able to? What if he just _barely_ missed? 

Seungmin's tensed shoulders fell, and he let his head drop into the sleeves of his arms. He took a deep breath in and watched as the air he let out below him turned into a white vapor.  
"Hwang Hyunjin, why can't you just leave me alone?" He whispered. The tears were now falling, and his legs were shaking. In fact, he was sure his entire body was shaking.

"Why won't _you_ just listen?" He retorted, clenching his pale fists. "Back up, and turn around, please." Hyunjin was getting tired, and the more the younger resisted, the more fear built up inside of his gut.

Seungmin shook his head and lifted it, sighing. "You didn't answer my question." He turned around, facing the elder. Hyunjin's face was contrite with dread, his now cracked lips pulled into a frown. He couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Because I love you! And I can't leave you alone when you're literally about to jump off a bridge!" Hyunjin's body slumped forward as the words rattled it. "I can't lose you."

Seungmin finally looked him in the eyes, a light brown meeting dark. He could fall in love all over again just by watching the emotions flicker in those chocolate orbs. He had always loved Hyunjin's sense of understanding. But now, it didn't seem like he was doing that; Understanding.

"I know. And i'm sorry." He pawed at his cheeks, wet with salty tears. "I'm being selfish, i'm so sorry." Hyunjin squinted and took a silent step forward. The hurt that flashed across his handsome face was unbearable to see as Seungmin backed up yet again.

"Then come over here and give me a hug." The mousy haired boy opened his arms and put on the best smile he could. "To make up for it."

Seungmin was torn. Oh, how he wanted to run into his boyfriend's embrace, throw out all of his thoughts to deal with everything the morning. But he really _didn't_. He wanted to be done. He didn't want to be _there_ anymore. He was tired, exhausted.   
"N-no."

"Seungmin."

"I'm sorry, I don't want to."

"Minnie, baby."

"I _can't_." His voice trembled. "I love you."

"Fucking hell, Seungmin!"

He had taken a fast stride over the railing, finally plummeting down into the cold, almost frozen, water. The temperature was numbing, and he swore he heard screaming above him. It wasn't like he was in the state to care, as he sunk further down into the river.  
Oxygen was running out, and his lungs burned. His body struggled as an automatic defense but stilled as he closed his eyes.

Seungmin was finally able to rest.

 

And Hyunjin was a moment too late. 

**Author's Note:**

> i think i kind of broke something in me when i decided to use lyrics from jonghyun's song 'let me out.' i really miss him. 
> 
> -
> 
> (i feel like this was really rushed. and i'm kind of disappointed with how i represented the two of them in this one. i didn't really dive deep into their thoughts or emotions, and kind of kept it shallow. sorry about that, i'll practice more on the next one.) 
> 
> i pray that you all have a wonderful rest of your week! stay healthy, and keep in mind you are beautiful in every way.  
> <3


End file.
